All Abuzz

Woke up about two hours ago and I can't seem to coax my mind into a sleep-state. My brain is racing. Not with anything bothersome, or distressing, or even interesting... Just the background hum of life - amplified.

I can't stop thinking of how much I like the word jejune. How my plants need watering. How I need to start jogging again...

This sort of frustrating insomnia always hits me during busy semesters. No longer am I wracked with waves of anxiety; instead, I find myself simply wired and unable to reach a delta-wave state.

I just wish tomorrow wasn't going to be such a dense day... I guess I'll need to go boil some lactose free milk.

Update

Wow, I was in a mood last night...

I guess I shouldn't read estate law before going to bed...

Sympathetic Nervous System

I'd like to think that things were easier at some point. That life was blissfully carefree for longer than the rare day or two. When trivial (and sometimes nontrivial) details didn't derail my desires or my goals or my happiness.

I think that time went away when I was about 5 or 6.

Life is hard. Life is bloody damn hard. What's harder still is internalizing that concept. Moving on. Accepting that life is difficult and making the best life you can out of it. When pitfalls are challenges and missed opportunities are doors to alternatives. Where flexibility and awareness replace the grudging complacency that seems so pervasive.

I mean, it certainly isn't like I'm a starving child sitting in a gutter. Yet I feel like one. I feel spoiled.