Strangers with Candy

Sorry I've been M.I.A. recently. I've been trying to stuff in as much dating as possible before school started... Oy, my poor poor wallet...

It isn't just the fiscal blow; dating in this city can be seriously tough on one's resolve to meet new people. After the past couple months, I think I'm going to lay low for a while. It's interesting to date complete strangers. Back in Philly I'd at least get to know a girl before dating her. Here, that's the reason to date. We're heavily fortified before marching in. No real illusion of commitment at the early stages. No leaps of faith. We've got our parachutes firmly attached. Sometimes, I think dating and interviewing are pretty much synonymous.

Trends start to pick up. So the dating formula (at least for me) seems to be two weeks of shameless bliss, followed by the actual "get to know you" part where you learn about personalities instead of anecdotes, then comes the realization that she's just as mixed up about life as I am, and finally the "wow, your quirks are endearing" vs. "whoa, this is way too much" weigh in.

What surprises me is how arbitrary the reasons are for dropping the whole affair. On both sides. I guess there isn't much holding you back when you get bored, or anxious, or skeeved, or just confused. I mean, there's no real investment, right? It does however create a breeding pit for persnickety behavior. All the commonground in the world is suddenly swept aside because one person doesn't like the color red. Or, suddenly, there's a huge issue with the age difference when it didn't matter at all for the past month. Or (worst of all), all those endearing qualities and quirks are quickly becoming offensively intollerable. I'm hardly blameless, a good share of these stupid reasons are my own.

Anyway, it's been a fun summer during my off-time, but I'm both weary and wary of dating now. When I first moved up here, everyone told me how hard dating was up here. I'd laugh it off and say, "What the hell are you talking about? I never have a problem finding a date up here, it's like a carnival!" But now the excitement of living in a new city has worn off and I'm just another tired, persnickety, and hyperentitled New Yorker.