Feast or Famine

I'm either bored or overwhelmed. I hear prison life is like that. Moments of maddening stillness cut with the shiv of crisis. I'm on that shiv right now.

This past week has been overwhelming. It started with a really bad day in school and ended with a really bad day in school, but it had some amazing highpoints in between...

So, to begin with, I met someone. She is stunning, brilliant, grounded, funny, mannered, and sweet. Unbelievably sweet. I pray the day never comes that she realizes how out of my league she is. I like her. A lot. This makes me really really anxious. I usually take dating in stride, mostly because I'm so friggin sick of it. But with her... Well, when I think of her my palms sweat, my mouth goes dry, and my heart races out of my throat. My classmates tease me and tell me I'm "in wuv". I laugh and feel the crushing blows of anxiety play with the transportive infatuation.

Unfortunately, I've also hit my first bad snag with a client. Really bad. We'll see how it plays out next week.

Between all the negative and positive stresses on my life, my insomnia has returned with a vengeance. I lay awake at night, staring at a shoulder that I have memorized. It's new scent calms me and bids me to chill the hell out and relearn how to float. Because sometimes floating is appropriate. I hope I can listen to that shoulder.